Bird feeder update: still covered in snow. The snow bank along the street is over my head. It warmed up to 14° today though, so it’s days are numbered.
This past weekend was my first weekend home in a while. The previous two I spent with my Dad in the hospice center in Sioux Falls. His original prognosis was 3-10 days, so I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could. Now they are saying 4-6 weeks. I thought it would be good for both of us to have a weekend to ourselves. He’s been having a ton of visitors and they kind of tire him out. As of now my plan is to spend every other weekend there. If he happens to pass in between my time there I would be ok with. I feel I’ve said my goodbyes. In fact I’ve said them too much. It kills be every weekend when I have to head back home. I am looking forward to being back down there this coming weekend.
Yesterday I got that call that I’ve kind of been expecting these last few years. I got the call that my Dad is going under hospice care. My Dad’s health has really gone downhill these last few years. He had multiple myeloma and had a stem cell transplant seven years ago. While the transplant bought him seven more years, they weren’t the best of years. If it wasn’t only thing it was another. He seemed to be constantly spending time in the hospital. So while it’s horrible that he is in his final few weeks, it will be nice to not see him suffer too.
Tomorrow we are heading down to see him. I’m kind of scared to see him. I don’t know what to say to him. How do I leave him for the last time? I think it was almost easier with my Mom. By the time we got to the hospital she was just being kept alive by machines. I didn’t say goodbye because I assumed she didn’t know we were there. I was the one that had to tell the doctors to turn off the machines. That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don’t know what to expect this weekend.
2019 will be my orphan year. Shortly I will no longer have any parents or grandparents left. I already feel lonely even through I’m surrounded my family.
Snow banks never look as impressive in photographs.
Well I survived another trip around the Sun. It was a pretty uneventful birthday. Unlike number 40 which was spent at Waikiki Beach in Hawaii, and number 41 which was spent watching the Broncos win the Super Bowl. We had plans to go out for dinner, but nobody else wanted to go out in the blizzard. I didn’t even leave the house on my 44th birthday, but I did blow snow twice.
It’s been a crazy week. If you were watching the Vikings game closely last Sunday, you would have seen me. I was in the second row with my orange #77 Karl Mecklenburg jersey on.
A few hours after we got home our dog Kingslie collapsed and became very lethargic, so we brought her into the emergency vet. She had a tumor on her spleen that ruptured. We opted to spend four grand on surgery to remove her spleen, because how could you not?
The surgery really took a lot out of her. She’s been sleeping all week. It’s been a struggle to get her to eat, but she is getting a little better every day.
The tumor ended up being benign, so that’s a good thing. The vet said that doesn’t guarantee that it’s not cancerous, but it’s better than if it was cancerous.
This weekend we are doing Christmas as my families. We are all heading to my brother’s house in Minneapolis. Sadly my dad isn’t doing so well, so he’s not going to be able to travel. We are leaving today so we can spend a little time at my Dad’s in South Dakota before heading to my Brother’s house on Saturday. It should be a good time, but it’s just not the same without my Mom around.
My Sister-in-Law bought my brother Vikings tickets for Christmas because they are playing his favorite team the Dolphins. She doesnt want to go, so there is a good chance I’ll end up going with him. They are really good seats, second row 50 yard line I think. I haven’t been to the new Vikings stadium yet, so that will be cool. It’ll be my seventh NFL stadium to see a game in. I’m also getting spoiled by the good seats after seeing the Broncos from the third row in Arizona earlier this year. I really like traveling to other cities to see their stadiums.
I don’t care about music awards or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but I noticed today that Radiohead just made the Rock and Roll HOF. I’m not a Radiohead fan, but I wonder if I would be if I could’ve found their album way back in 1993. I remember the first time I saw the “Creep” video on MTV’s 120 Minutes. The next day I went to every record store in town, and could not find Pablo Honey. For the next couple weeks I kept my eye out for it, but was never able to find it. By the time they broke out and their albums were everywhere, I was kind of over them and have never purchased an album. It’s crazy to think back to the time when it was hard to find the music I wanted. Now everything is just a few clicks away and I don’t even have to put pants on.
So I made the jump to WordPress 5.0 and am trying out the Gutenberg editor. So far I’m not a fan, but then again I didn’t care for the old editor, so maybe it was time for an upgrade. Gutenberg seems to have a little big of a learning curve though. I was totally lost at first and had to look up how to use it on YouTube. I had the visual editor disabled so nothing was working at first. It took me an hour to figure that out. Now that things seem to be working I’ll try to stick with it. It does seem to be kind of cool.
This time of year is really hard for me. My mother passed away five years ago on December 20th. That was the hardest Christmas ever, and Christmas has never been the same since. It just sucked opening presents from her without her there, getting packages to her house and trying to guess who’s gifts they were, finding the Christmas turkey in the trunk of her car weeks later. I don’t think Christmas will ever be a happy time for me.
We were in the mall over the weekend and it just being decked out in Christmas is depressing for me. Then they played “Let It Go” by Passenger and I almost lost it. That song was big back in 2013. So many lines of that song rang true the night my Mom passed. We had to drive home in a snow storm. The lines of missing the sun when it starts to snow and hating the road when you’re missing home really sunk in. When we got to the hospital that song was on, and then when we left the hospital, who knows how many hours later, that song was on again.
My Mom was super organized. She had about everything for her funneral planned, even the songs she wanted. We played her songs, but we also adding the Passenger song.
That song also popped up during the Super Bowl a couple months later. My Mom always loved the Budweiser clydesdale horses commercials, and that year that Passenger song was in those Budweiser commercial. It was such a fitting coincidence.