Does it get better?

This time of year is really hard for me. My mother passed away five years ago on December 20th. That was the hardest Christmas ever, and Christmas has never been the same since. It just sucked opening presents from her without her there, getting packages to her house and trying to guess who’s gifts they were, finding the Christmas turkey in the trunk of her car weeks later. I don’t think Christmas will ever be a happy time for me.

We were in the mall over the weekend and it just being decked out in Christmas is depressing for me. Then they played “Let It Go” by Passenger and I almost lost it. That song was big back in 2013. So many lines of that song rang true the night my Mom passed. We had to drive home in a snow storm. The lines of missing the sun when it starts to snow and hating the road when you’re missing home really sunk in. When we got to the hospital that song was on, and then when we left the hospital, who knows how many hours later, that song was on again.

My Mom was super organized. She had about everything for her funneral planned, even the songs she wanted. We played her songs, but we also adding the Passenger song.

That song also popped up during the Super Bowl a couple months later. My Mom always loved the Budweiser clydesdale horses commercials, and that year that Passenger song was in those Budweiser commercial. It was such a fitting coincidence.