Orphan

Yesterday I got that call that I’ve kind of been expecting these last few years. I got the call that my Dad is going under hospice care. My Dad’s health has really gone downhill these last few years. He had multiple myeloma and had a stem cell transplant seven years ago. While the transplant bought him seven more years, they weren’t the best of years. If it wasn’t only thing it was another. He seemed to be constantly spending time in the hospital. So while it’s horrible that he is in his final few weeks, it will be nice to not see him suffer too.

Tomorrow we are heading down to see him. I’m kind of scared to see him. I don’t know what to say to him. How do I leave him for the last time? I think it was almost easier with my Mom. By the time we got to the hospital she was just being kept alive by machines. I didn’t say goodbye because I assumed she didn’t know we were there. I was the one that had to tell the doctors to turn off the machines. That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don’t know what to expect this weekend.

2019 will be my orphan year. Shortly I will no longer have any parents or grandparents left. I already feel lonely even through I’m surrounded my family.