Life has been crazy of late. I’ve barely had any internet time. Here is what I have been up to:

Two weeks ago we got my Mother-in-Law moved out of her house. She is now currently living with us until she finds a place here in Fargo. Hopefully it doesn’t take her that long. I don’t mind her too much, but it’s a little annoying having her around all the time and having to always wear pants.

Last weekend was my Fantasy Football draft. I hate when people go on and on about their teams, so I won’t bore you with that. I think it’s pretty crazy that my league is in it’s 21st season.

We’ve been having problems with something eating our tomatoes in our garden recently. Over the weekend we figured out it was slugs. I read online that little cups of beer attracts and traps slugs. This was after the first night.

So there is a use for Milwaukee’s Best. It’s cheap and pretty much undrinkable, but great for catching slugs. I ended up with 7 cups with 8 to 10 slugs in each one.

Today is the first day of a little vacation for me. Tomorrow we are heading to the cities to see The Book of Mormon at the Orpheum and then Thursday is the Minnesota State Fair and we are seeing Fall Out Boy with Paramore. Should be a fun week.

it’s currently 11:00 am. I just woke up from a short little nap after getting home from work at 6:00 this morning. I’m about to head out to my Mom’s house for the last time. Today we are closing on the sale of the house.

It wasn’t the house a grew up in. My Mom moved several times after I moved out. We actually moved many times as kids. There are five houses that I grew up in. Each one was sad to leave behind. It’s just the end of a chapter in my life, and a beginning of a new one. It’s going to be sad to leave my Mom’s house for the last time, but at the same time feels good to move on and have a little closure too.

Tomorrow we are having some good friends over for a BBQ and beers. Should be a fun time, and the start of the next chapter in my life. I’m excited for what it will bring, but bummed that I can’t share it with my Mom.

So yesterday on Facebook I learned that one of my classmates passed away ten years ago. Crazy I didn’t hear about it until now, but we didn’t really have Facebook ten years ago I guess.

He was known to everybody as Dude. Most teachers even called him Dude. It was always funny the first day of school when teachers ask what name students want to go by. Many teachers were reluctant to call him Dude. Dude was always Dude to everybody. Eventually the teachers understood, but at first many refused to call him Dude. Yesterday when I looked up his obituary, was actually the first time I learned of his real first name.

I wasn’t close to him, but he was a great guy. He was always super nice to everybody. He wasn’t the best student though. I remember him working his ass off towards the end of our senior year just to graduate. I’ll always remember how upset he was when the counselor recommended that he didn’t go to college.

His obituary didn’t mention cause of death, but at 29, I’m thinking it was either suicide or drug overdose. I leaning toward suicide. So sad to see him go so young.

So this past weekend we had a burial service for my Father-in-law. He was cremated in February, and we waited for a nice time to bury the ashes. It wasn’t that nice of day, but at least it wasn’t snowing.

While we were up in northern Minnesota, we saw the four empty plots that the family owns, and we claimed one of them. After reading Stiff by Mary Roach, I’ve never really cared what was done to my body after I died. None of the options really sound like any fun. Honestly, I would be happiest donating my body to science, but I have a feeling the family wouldn’t like that. After my Mom’s passing and seeing the cost of a traditional burial, verses the cost of my Father’s-in-law cremation, I am pro cremation. Plus in the cemetery that we are being buried in, you can put two cremations in one plot. So the wife and I will only take up one plot. That just make way more sense to me. Why take up the extra space.

It felt a little weird standing on the ground that my ashes will one day be buried under, but at the same time I felt at peace knowing my final resting place will be a great place just 20 miles from the small town that I still consider home living there from 1981-1990.

So three months ago today my Mom passed away. People have told me that it takes about three months before things start to feel normal again. A month ago I didn’t believe that, but now I think that that’s pretty accurate. Everybody grieves different, but this week was the first week that I started to feel like myself again.

Listening to music is still hard though. So many songs bring up so many childhood memories. The other day one of my favorite Something Corporate songs, “21 and Invincible” came up on my iPod. The opening line goes like this:

some days go by, i wish i was famous
or maybe religious, so i could go to heaven
just like you

That got me wondering if grieving is easier for people of religion? The thought that my Mom is all well above and looking down on me, despite how silly it sounds, sounds comforting. But then the religious folk have to cope with why their god took their loved one?

In reality everybody grieves differently. If religion helps you and comforts you, more power to you. For me living in reality comforts me. Living and learning as much as I can about the universe we live in comforts me. Life can suck sometimes, but you only have one of them. You might as well live it to its fullest before the atoms that make up your body are returned back to the universe that created them.

Never in my life did I imagine that I would be paying for two funerals within three months. That’s the bad thing about being the only one in the family with money. It’s not that we have a ton of money, but we were smart, got an education, and are living within our means. So for that, we get stuck with the bills.

For my Mother’s funeral it’s not as big of deal because her estate has enough money that I will eventually get paid back. She had just a basic funeral, nothing too crazy, but it still cost us $17,000. They get you on everything. We had to pay extra for a Saturday burial, and even had to pay for snow removal. Just a basic coffin and vault was 10 grand.

My Father-in-law on the other hand was cremated. His funeral was only $6000. That alone is a good enough reason to be cremated. Before I never really had a preference, because I wound never know anyway. Now I think I’m going to be cremated. My Father-in-law already had a plot, and because he was cremated, he and is wife can share the plot since they with both be cremated. We will now probably do the same and get the plot next to them. it’s kind of eerie knowing where your final destination is, but I guess it’s going to happen eventually.

My Father-in-law had no money, and neither do any of my brothers-in-law, so we’re pretty much stuck with that bill. I could make a fuss about it, but that probably won’t get my anywhere.

One thing that was great was all the parts my Father-in-law was able to donate. He wasn’t able to donate any organs, but he donated a lot of skin and tissue, and even bones. I’ve never even heard about donating bone before. All in all, they said he could probably end up helping fifty people. My mom was a donor too, but sadly she wasn’t able to donate anything. I don’t really know why not though. They said they would have contacted us if she could donate anything. After my mother-in-law’s heart transplant, both our families are really big proponents of organ donating, and it’s great to know how many people my father-in-law could help out.

So it’s been a while.

We had another death in the family back on February 22nd, my father-in-law. Within three months my wife and I each lost a parent. It doesn’t seem real. Both left us far too soon, and I think that’s the hardest part. My wife’s father was only 56. He wasn’t in the greatest of shapes, but he had no medical problems and was not overweight, but still just collapsed from a heat attack, and was gone that fast.

My wife is having a hard time. She was really close to her dad. They talked almost every day. I’m having a hard enough time time dealing with the passing of my mom, and we weren’t all that close. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, but I think helping her mom sort things out is helping her out.

I can’t look at anything in the house without thinking of my mom or father-in-law. They both have given us so much, and helped us out with so many projects. I still can’t believe they are gone.

I have so many great memories. I have spent hours just staring into space letting my mind wonder. I don’t think a day has gone by since December 20th without tears in my eyes. Soon the weather will be nice enough to dig my telescope out again. It’s going to be hard to look at Saturn again without thinking back to last summer when my mom saw Saturn for the first time through my telescope. She was amazed, and now she’s gone.

Everybody says it will get easier. I hope they’re right.