Today is the 17 anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death. Many people don’t understand Nirvana’s music, but to those of us who do, they were my generations Beatles. From the second I inserted the Nevermind cassette I was hooked. It was probably the first album that I could listen to straight through without a bad song and I could listen over and over and never got sick of it. They were my gateway band. I believe everybody who is into underground, less popular music, has a mainstream band that shows them the light and introduces them to the much greater music that doesn’t get radio play.

After hearing Nevermind, my tastes in music totally changed. No longer was I into the 80s hair metal bands. I would go out of my way to find new music. Back then, before the internet, it was much harder to discover new music. MTV actually played videos back then, but really only played videos I liked for two hours on Sunday nights during 120 Minutes. That’s when I first saw the video for “Rhinoceros” and fell in love with Smashing Pumpkins, I saw “Behind the Sun”, and fell in love with the Chili Peppers, I saw “Undone-The Sweater Song” and fell in love with Weezer. Those are just a few videos that stick out in my head. Those bands would then go on and be huge. Many of my other favorites like Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. and Pavement would also have moderate success. It always makes me feel good when bands I have been listening to for years suddenly became popular. During the mid 90s bands I liked were getting radio play left and right, not so much anymore, but I don’t care. I listen to what I like, and go out of my way to find it.

I remember April 8th like it was yesterday. April 8th was the day that Kurt Cobain was discovered dead. He shot himself on the 5th. April 8th was a Friday. I was in college living in a dorm. Usually Fridays were slow days with not many classes. I took advantage of that and did a bunch of errands that day, and never turned the TV on. I went from my errands, to class, then to work. I didn’t hear the news about Kurt Cobain until that evening when I went out with friends. I was shocked when I heard the news, but wasn’t surprised. It was a sad ending to my favorite band that had so much more music to make.

So this weekend I was at home and like usual my mom was glued to Fox News. Pretty much the only version on the news my Mom consumes is Fox’s version. She pretty much buys into all the scare tactics they use. She now believes that everybody in Japan will have cancer within a month. We were watching Fox News and they we talking to two supposed nuclear experts. They let the first guy talk all his doom and gloom worst case scenario stuff, then the other guy started talking more reality and common sense, and of course they had to cut him of for a commercial break. It’s that kind of journalism that drives me nuts, and everybody does it.

I have been really interested in the science behind the nuclear disaster in Japan, and have read a ton about it. It’s scary and could be bad, but if handled properly the short term higher levels of radiation are harmless.

In the past I have tried to explain to my Mom the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation. Non-ionizing radiation has yet to be found harmful. It doesn’t carry enough energy to affect atoms. That is why there is slim to none chance that cell phones cause cancer. My Mom still believes that we are all going to get brain cancer and she hates the fact that I keep my phone in my pocket. Of course nuclear radiation is ionizing, but people can handle low levels of it just fine without increased cancer risk.

When it was discovered that spinach and milk in Japan had nuclear materials in them her fears escaladed even more. I told her it was great that they discovered that so they can keep an eye on it so it doesn’t get worse, but the amounts they found probably are harmless. I think I read if they drank the contaminated milk for a year it would be the equivalent of a CT scan, and eating the spinach would be 1/5th of a CT scan. I tried to explain to her that there is background radiation all around us and some of her food probably has radioactive elements in them. That was before I knew about bananas, so I was right.

Then she said “Nuclear radiation is much worse. It’s not like the radiation the Sun puts out.”

I then did a mental facepalm. I didn’t feel like breaking the news to her that the Sun is basically a giant nuclear reactor. My Mom is smart, she has her masters degree, but her lack of science knowledge is baffling.

I am usually pretty lucky with colds. I very seldom get sick, but this year I am on my second cold of the season. Because I seldom get sick, I don’t always get a flu shot. Not because I am against them, mostly it’s just out of laziness. This year I did get my flu shot though. Many people would correlate getting sick twice proving that the flu shot doesn’t work, but remember correlating doesn’t always equal causation. I haven’t gotten the flu this season—and if I did, it would mean I just caught a different strain—just some annoying colds.

I blame being around more people than usual this season as the cause. With my Mother-in-Law’s situation, I have spent much more time in hospitals and around family than usual, and I have spend time around a bunch of people making sandbags to help fight this years flood. Being in close quarters with other people is probably the number one way to get sick. Being sick more this year will probably just encourage me to make sure I get my flu shot next season.

Well, I’m back. I drove through the night rather than getting up early to get home at a reasonable hour. The sugary went well. No surprises for the surgeons. We were hoping she wouldn’t need a LVAD put in, but she did. It will be a little adjustment to learn haw the LVAD works, and get use to always having a battery pack strapped to her. Now she just has a long road to recovery. She will be in the hospital for two more weeks, and then she needs to stay near the hospital, in an apartment for a couple more weeks to make sure she can handle the LVAD on her own, and be close for checkups. She is also now on the transplant waiting list. She will need a transplant sometime in a near future. So if you’re not a donor, why the hell not? I have been a donor since I first got my license at 16. If I’m not going to need my parts, might as well give them to someone who does.

The bad thing is the price of all of this. They are probably lucky that they don’t have any money or health insurance, otherwise this would have probably bankrupted them. Since they have nothing, there are programs out there to help them out, which is great. There will still be a bunch of costs that us, and the rest of the family is probably going to have to chip in to cover.

The loss of my Mother-in-Law’s income is really putting them in a bind. My Father-in-Law just has some crappy $12 an hour job, while that was still more than my Monther-in-Law brought in, they really miss her paychecks. I couldn’t imagine living on $12 and hour. We probably put more into savings a month, then they make a month. It almost make me feel bad.

Okay, that’s the update, now time to get back to my RSS feeds. The hospital wifi was down on Wednesday, so I got way behind.

Tomorrow is my Mother-in-Law’s surgery day. She is having a quadruple bypass, so it’s a little scary, but doctors nowadays are pretty amazing, so she should be fine. I’m heading out to Minneapolis in the morning and should get down there shortly before she is out. Then it’s a long and boring week in the hospital. I’m not sure how long I will be down there, but I won’t have much internet access. I think the hospital has wifi, but nothing at the relatives’ house that we are staying at. I am already getting the shakes. I wish I had my iPhone already because the wifi hotspot would be nice, but I still have 37 days left of my contract.

I am hoping that I can sneak out early since most of the family is going to be down there all week. Not that I don’t want to be with my family, it’s just that once she is out and fine, I don’t feel the need for me to be there. I would rather be someplace with internet. Yeah, I might have an internet addiction problem.

I am kind of a grammar Nazi. Other people’s grammar errors drive me crazy, but I am sure I am guilty of many grammatical errors myself. I was never a fan of English class in school, and always struggled in English and writing classes. I envy people that like to write. I want to like writing, and I do now more they I ever have before, but it’s always been a struggle to get words from my head, to the paper — or computer screen.

One thing that I didn’t even know was a thing is the double spaces after a sentence controversy. It came up twice lately in a few blogs that I read. I now realize how pointless it is, and it is a little distracting. I leaned to type on typewriters in typing class. There we were taught to double space after ever sentence, so I just did it out of habit. I never really noticed if stuff I was reading was double-spaced or not.

Now that I know it’s a thing, I noticed that most things online aren’t double-spaced, and now the double spacing kind of annoys me. I am doing my best to train my thumb to only hit the space bar once now after a sentence. I added a plugin to WordPress that should correct any errors like the one after this sentence. If it worked there should only be once space there. I’m still on the lookout for a way to fix all my past posts. From now on I am no longer a “double-spacer”.

Being sick sucks.  I seldom get sick.  I think I have taken three sick days since I started  working in 1990.  Friday was the third.  My secret is being a hermit and not getting out of the house much, along with getting a flu shot.

Today was a lazy day sitting on the couch watching some awesome football games.  I am achy and constantly going from too cold to too hot. Also my sleeve works as a pretty good Kleenex when I don’t feel like getting up.  My nose doesn’t agree though.  I look like Rudolph.

I want to blog about the terrible shooting in Arizona, but my head is too fuzzy to get political.  Truly it shouldn’t get political.  It was fucking murder.  Nothing political about that, and the only one to blame is the scumbag shooter.  Sure Palin had an unfortunate website that was in poor taste, but that’s nothing to to her.  Maybe this will teach her something, but I kinda doubt it.  Maybe the crazy guy saw her site, but I doubt it.  I watched his YouTube videos, and he really isn’t all there.  Who knows what is motive was, or if we will ever find out, but still Palin shouldn’t in  know way be blamed for what happened.

It drives me crazy when people use horrible events to push their agenda.  Some say he is obviously a crazy Teabagger, while others say he is a left-wing Atheist.  It doesn’t matter what political side he is on, or even if he is on a side.  He is a crazy murderer that will be spending he rest of his life locked up.

Ok, that is way more than I wanted to talk about the murder, but it does make me feel better to get everything off my chest, even if nobody reads this.  Now time to get a Kleenex.

So last weekend my Mother-in-Law had a heart attack.  The Wife headed down to our hometown as soon as she heard the news.  I have been home alone holding down the fort by myself, taking care of the pets.

It was scary at first, and still is.  She is going to need either bypass surgery, or a transplant since she also has a heart valve problem.  The bad part is they don’t have heath insurance.  I was kind of surprised when I heard they didn’t, because my Father-in-Law always preaches that it doesn’t matter how much you make, you need a job that offers health insurance.  I guess he new job doesn’t.  My in-laws are great people, but money is something they don’t have.  They live in a 30-year-old trailer house, and don’t have much for material possessions.  Sometimes I admire their lack of wanting many material possessions.

For a while there it was a little shaky on how her surgery was going to get done, and paid for.  Because of her valve problem surgery can’t be done at the St. Cloud hospital.  Their doctor wanted it to be done at the Mayo, but without insurance couldn’t get them into the Mayo.  Luckily enough he pulled some strings and got her into the University of Minnesota Medical Center.  They also were informed that there are many programs, and charities that will cover most of their medical expenses.  We are so grateful on how great the St. Cloud hospital is.  I have heard how great they are from other people, now we know it’s true.  I may have to find out what charities are covering the expenses, and send them some money every Christmas.

Yesterday she was life flighted to the U of M Hospital, and they have been doing more and more tests.  I haven’t heard yet what kind of surgery she is having yet, but it sounds like Christmas will be spent at the hospital.  It will be a tough Christmas, but this is what Christmas is all about.  Spending time with family no matter where they are at.

I was thinking the other day how little my interests have changed from my six-year-old self.  I loved science, astronomy, and magic.  I still remember my magic set, and all the tricks I knew and showed off to my family.  I remember wishing there were more shows like Mr. Wizard World and 3-2-1 Contact on TV.  I loved those shows, but they never seemed to be on enough.  One summer my Mom bought me a Peanuts science book set.  I think there were 20 or 25 volumes, each on a different science topic.  That summer I read them all, and learned a lot of science from Snoopy and Charlie Brown.  To this day I remember facts from those books.  You know how the first bright star of the night is usually a planet, and probably Venus?  Yeah, Charlie Brown taught me that when I was 6.  My Mom still has those books.  I need to get those from her.  If we ever have kids, I would love for them to read them.

I also always remember being a critical thinker as a kid.  I don’t ever remember believing in Santa Claus.  I probably did when I was real little, but when I got a little older I just played along with it.  Just the logistics of going to every house seemed impossible to me.  Yet alone a fat man fitting down a chimney and having elves build brand named products.  But the clincher was using the same wrapping paper as my parents, and using my Mom’s handwriting.  I just played along though because I wanted the presents.

I applied the same thinking about Santa Claus to God.  My Mom brought me to church every Sunday, but I don’t ever remember believing in God.  I pretty much thought it was a grown ups Santa Claus, and wondered if these otherwise smart people really believed in God.  Once again I just played along.  This time not for presents, but just to please my Mom.  I kept going to church every Sunday even though I hated it.  I even bullshitted my way through and got confirmed.  To this day my parents don’t know of my true religious beliefs.

I have been a skeptic long before I knew what a skeptic was, or new about the community.  When I first listened to the Skepticality podcast.  I feel in love with it.  Finally I met people of similar interests.  I started listening to as many skeptic and science podcasts as I could find.  No longer was science programing hard to find like it was when I was six.  There are more science blogs and podcasts than any person could ever consume.

I was also surprised how much my love of magic had to do with skepticism.  Many magicians are skeptics going all the way back to Houdini, who set out to expose all the frauds purporting supernatural phenomena.  Nowadays James Randi, and Penn & Teller are following in the footsteps of Houdini.  Many other magicians are skeptics too.  I don’t know if David Copperfield is though, but seeing his show, and actually getting on stage with him a few years back was a dream come true.  When it come to magic shows, I am still a six-year-old at heart, and never miss the opportunity to see a magic show.

As I get older it still amazes me how much I remember being six, and how little I have changed.  I am still critically thinking, still reading about science, and still love learning new magic tricks.